Wednesday, April 6, 2022


I just want to acknowledge that lately I've been feeling energetic and upbeat. I feel motivated:
  • getting commissions done
  • started to maintain cleanliness in my room
  • back on track with watering my plants
  • Jubjub's getting more attention daily.
  • im taking daily vitamins
  • have the spoons for socialising 
  • having an easier time with confrontation/replying to DMs 
  • inspired for personal projects
I dont know how or why this is happening. Hormones? Spring/Aries season? Sun being out much longer? One good thought effectively snowballing to more good thoughts? I still don't understand myself but it's such a welcome feeling. I do know my partner's visit has done me so much good. I think also rearranging my room gave me a mental shake up. Having more space for storage and lesser big houseplants in my room plays a part too.

The other day I learned that Elon Musk bought a good chunk of shares on Twitter and that really spiralled me out of my good mental space. Just to give context, all my commission work are from twitter. I have built and surrounded myself with beautiful people there to follow. Twitter has essentially pivoted my life allowing me to make my dreams come true and be a full time self-employed artist. I feel very attached to it and what it represents in my life.
Sadly the things I learn about Elon these past few years is not good. And him having influential power on a major social media (that's deeply personal and important to me) is not good at all. And for a day I was really consumed in negativity of what this could bring. I was supposed to finish some commissions but I didn't. I didn't get enough sleep. It really felt I'm coming down with a cold. I just lied in bed and operated in minimum capacity. My whole being really rejected that news and I could not believe this is the timeline we're in. I also don't know how this news could manifest so much in my physical reality and make me sick. I was worried that my mental state will spiral downwards and I will be stuck again in a bad mental space. My morals, principles, boundaries, are being tested. How much more will I be willing to stomach on Twitter? Homophobia, racism, transphobia, NFTs, Crypto, problematic behaviour, etc.
Thankfully I was able to find an alternative to twitter called Mastodon🐘 it's a decentralised social media that no one corporate company can own/buy themself into. It's being run by communities called 'instances' and maintained by moderators. I personally signed up on the Art instance. If I could give it a short summary, I would say it's the love child of Twitter and Discord. Not the chatting part of Discord but more of having the bubble of communities, apart but not isolated. Everyone in all the communities are still mingled together on the timeline. Discovering this microblogging platform gave me a sense of security that there will always be a safe space for me to rebuild and meet like-minded people.
Today I woke up and surprisingly feeling well again. I'm honestly so excited about the community over at Mastodon, everyone has been friendly and receptive so far. I also received my first commission over there and I'm looking forward to what more I will discover.